Question:
Assalamualaikum ustaz. I want to ask regarding the issue of my divorce.
On 10/8/2019 I was divorced with one talak. Afterwards, I realized that I’m menstruating. My husband does not know that I was menstruating at the time. On that day, I asked for a divorce from him due to certain reasons.
Then on the night of 11/8/2019 we are still sleeping together and my husband apologized for his mistake. On 12/8/2019, he decided to reconcile with me (rujuk) and say “I (husband’s name) want to reconcile (rujuk) with (my name)” and I accepted.
In all these three days, I was menstruating.
My question is:
- Is the talak (divorce) valid? And was I immediately in iddah after the talak?
- My husband and I reconciled (rujuk) on the third day, is it necessary for me to file our divorce and reconciliation?
- Is it haram for me and my husband to have physical contact in this duration since I’m still menstruating at the time?
- I’m confused as to whether it is permissible for me to sleep in the same room with my husband?
- Should I go to the court to settle this matter or should I wait until I’m pure (no longer menstruating)?
Answer:
Waalaikumussalam wrt wbt,
Alhamdulillah, praise and thanks to Allah for the countless blessings He has blessed us all with. Blessings and salutations to the Prophet Muhammad PBUH, his wives, his family, companions and all those that follow his teachings to the day of judgement.
The Validity of Talak (Divorce) During Menstruation
Talak uttered by a husband to his wife when she is menstruating is valid. However, the ruling for the talak when a person’s wife is menstruating itself is haram. From the angle of the validity of talak, it is valid. While from the angle of uttering talak when the wife is menstruating, it is haram. This matter is similar to the case of praying while wearing a silk shirt for man, stolen clothes or trade performed after the second adhan of Friday prayer.
This prohibition is in accordance with the statement of Allah SWT:
يَا أَيُّهَا النَّبِيُّ إِذَا طَلَّقْتُمُ النِّسَاءَ فَطَلِّقُوهُنَّ لِعِدَّتِهِنَّ
“O Prophet, when you [Muslims] divorce women, divorce them for [the commencement of] their waiting period,”
Surah al-Talaq (1)
According to scholars, starting one’s ‘iddah means when a woman is pure and not menstruating. The reason is the duration when she is menstruating is not considered as the duration of ‘iddah. Allah SWT states:
وَالْمُطَلَّقَاتُ يَتَرَبَّصْنَ بِأَنفُسِهِنَّ ثَلَاثَةَ قُرُوءٍ ۚ وَلَا يَحِلُّ لَهُنَّ أَن يَكْتُمْنَ مَا خَلَقَ اللَّهُ فِي أَرْحَامِهِنَّ إِن كُنَّ يُؤْمِنَّ بِاللَّهِ وَالْيَوْمِ الْآخِرِ
“Divorced women remain in waiting for three periods, and it is not lawful for them to conceal what Allah has created in their wombs if they believe in Allah and the Last Day.”
Surah al-Baqarah (228)
Thus, talaq in this situation is named as talaq bid’i. The ruling for such talak is haram, sinful and valid for it contradicts the talaq sanctioned and prolongs the duration of iddah for a woman. When a woman is divorced when she is pure, then she menstruates and become pure, then menstruates and become pure and her iddah ends when she experienced her third menstrual cycle. While if she is divorced when she menstruates, then her iddah will only be completed after her fourth menstrual cycle. This is the harm that Syarak wants to prevent. Refer al-Mu`tamad fi al-Fiqh al-Syafie (4/262) by Syeikh Muhammad al-Zuhaili.
In this situation, it is sunnah for the husband to reconcile (rujuk) with his wife. This is according to a hadith from Abdullah bin Umar R.Anhuma:
أَنَّهُ طَلَّقَ امْرَأَتَهُ, وَهْىَ حَائِضٌ, عَلَى عَهْدِ رَسُولِ اللَّهِ صَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ فَسَأَلَ عُمَرُ بْنُ الْخَطَّابِ رضي الله عنه رَسُولَ اللَّهِ صَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ عَنْ ذَلِكَ, فَقَالَ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ صَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ: مُرْهُ فَلْيُرَاجِعْهَا، ثُمَّ لِيُمْسِكْهَا حَتَّى تَطْهُرَ, ثُمَّ تَحِيضَ، ثُمَّ تَطْهُرَ، ثُمَّ إِنْ شَاءَ أَمْسَكَ بَعْدُ, وَإِنْ شَاءَ طَلَّقَ قَبْلَ أَنْ يَمَسَّ، فَتِلْكَ الْعِدَّةُ الَّتِى أَمَرَ اللَّهُ أَنْ تُطَلَّقَ لَهَا النِّسَاءُ
‘Abd Allah bin Umar said that he divorced his wife while she was menstruating during the time of the Apostle of Allaah(ﷺ). So ‘Umar bin Al Khattab asked the Apostle of Allaah(ﷺ) about this matter. The Apostle of Allaah(ﷺ) said “Order him, he must take her back and keep her back till she is purified, then has another menstrual period and is purified. Thereafter if he desires he may divorce her before having intercourse with her, for that is the period of waiting which Allaah the Glorified has commanded for the divorce of women.”
Sahih al-Bukhari (4953) and Sahih Muslim (1471)
This hadith explains that Abdullah bin Umar R.Anhuma should leave his wife after reconciling until she is pure. Then, he can divorce her if he wishes. When his wife menstruates again, then he can divorce her with two talak if he wishes. When his wife becomes pure again for the third time, Abdullah bin Umar R.Anhuma must think whether he wants to continue with the marriage or divorce with three talak which would completely sever the marriage (بائن). Refer al-Kafi #1241: The Ruling of Marriage While Pregnant from Fornication and Divorce After Pregnancy.
The Ruling of Filing a Divorce After Reconciliation (Rujuk)
After talak is uttered, there is no other choice for the husband and wife but to file for their divorce at the lower shariah court as provided by law. This rule is according to Siyasah Syar’iyyah which is vital in protecting the maslahat of women who are vulnerable and easily oppressed by irresponsible men in regards to the authority given such as for maintenance, number of talak and others. When the utterance of talak is validated in court, the couple can reconcile by filing for a reconciliation (rujuk) in the religious department. This obligation is applicable even if the woman is still menstruating for there are no evidence stating that talak or reconciliation (rujuk) is invalidated if the woman is still menstruating.
“Is it haram for me and my husband to have physical contact with each other since I’m still menstruating?”
According to the above explanation, talak uttered when the wife is menstruating is valid but sinful. Thus, the couple has become ajnabi (strangers) and it is haram for them to live together like husband and wife, such as having sexual interactions, touching or looking at each other. It is wajib for the husband to leave the house they lived together to leave his wife to complete her iddah without disruption if the husband intended to divorce his wife. However, if the husband decides to follow the sunnah of the Prophet PBUH, then he should reconcile (rujuk) with his wife of whom he divorced when she is menstruating.
We have explained this in detail in the article Irsyad al-Fatwa Series 229b: Is It Permissible for An Ex-Husband to Live Together with His Ex-Wife During Iddah?
Conclusion
According to the above facts and explanation, it is clear to us that talak uttered when the wife is menstruating is valid but haram. Thus, it is sunnah for the husband to reconcile with his wife during iddah even when the reconciliation happens while she is menstruating. It is wajib for the couple to file their divorce that takes place outside of court, even when the wife is menstruating, according to the provided law in their respective states to ensure that no one is oppressed due to the divorce. It is haram for the couple to touch each other after divorce or sleep in the same room, unless after they have reconciled (rujuk).