Question:
Assalamualaikum. Can you explain regarding the issue of zihar. How does it happen?
Answer:
Alhamdulillah, praise and thanks to Allah SWT for the countless blessings He has blessed us all with. Blessings and salutations to the prophet Muhammad PBUH, his family, companions and all those that follow his teachings.
There are a lot of questions regarding the issue of zihar that has come to us at the Mufti’s Office of Federal Territory. We feel the worry of the people that have come to consult with us after they had said phrases that they thought could be considered as zihar, such as: “Your nose is similar to my mom’s,”, “You look like my mom,”, or “You are like my sister,” (in terms of height), and others. Hence, we would like to take the responsibility to give an accurate explanation to answer the issue of zihar.
Definition of Zihar
Linguistically, zihar (ظِهَار) is a derivative word (masdar) from the verb za ha ra (ظَاهَرَ) from the phrase ظَاهَرَ مِن َامْرَأتَه which means ‘zihar his wife’. In real life application, zihar refers to the words of a husband to his wife: “Anti kazahri ummi”( أنْتِ كَظَهْرِ أمِي), which means: “You are like the back of my mother.”
According to Islamic terminology, zihar is defined as the words of a husband that compares his wife that has not been divorced through talak bain with his muabbad (eternal) mahram (woman). Refer: Mughni al-Muhtaj, al-Khatib al-Syarbini (pg. 448).
Imam Ibn Kathir Rahimahullah said: “The origin of the word zihar is from the word al-zahr (back). This is due to the fact that it is a custom for jahiliyyah people to zihar their wives with: ‘You are like my mother’s back to me.’”
Whereas according to syarak, zihar happens regardless of the body parts compared to, for other body parts are qiyas (analogically deduced) as the same as the back. In the jahiliyyah times, zihar is considered as talak (divorce). Then, Allah SWT give a facilitation (rukhsah) to the Muslims and changed it to kaffarah and not made it as talak as was in the times of the jahiliyyah. Refer: Tafsir al-Quran al-Azhim, Ibn Kathir (8/42).
According to the 4th edition of Kamus Dewan, zihar is an act by the husband where he says the words that equates any parts of his wife’s body to his mother or his mahram, that results in the prohibition of the husband from having intercourse with his wife, in that situation (until he pays the obligatory kifarat for zihar)
It is named as zihar referring to the act of a husband equating his wife with his mother’s back. The aspect of comparison is, as if his wife is prohibited for him the same as it is prohibited for him to have intercourse with his biological mother or his other mahram.
The Ruling for Zihar
Basically, there a few evidences that explains about zihar. One of them is a statement of Allah SWT in the Quran:
الَّذِينَ يُظَاهِرُونَ مِنْكُمْ مِنْ نِسَائِهِمْ مَا هُنَّ أُمَّهَاتِهِمْ ۖ إِنْ أُمَّهَاتُهُمْ إِلَّا اللَّائِي وَلَدْنَهُمْ ۚ وَإِنَّهُمْ لَيَقُولُونَ مُنْكَرًا مِنَ الْقَوْلِ وَزُورًا ۚ وَإِنَّ اللَّهَ لَعَفُوٌّ غَفُورٌ
“Those who pronounce thihar among you [to separate] from their wives - they are not [consequently] their mothers. Their mothers are none but those who gave birth to them. And indeed, they are saying an objectionable statement and a falsehood. But indeed, Allah is Pardoning and Forgiving.”
Surah al-Mujadilah (2)
According to the verse above, zihar is an objectionable and false pronouncement. Second, it is forbidden to commit zihar, and it is prohibited. Meanwhile, in the book of Al-Majmu’ Syarah al-Muhazzab , zihar is included as a great sin and whoever commits it have committed a sin, according to the ijma’. See: Takmilah al-Majmu’ (16/341).
The following, we share a few commentaries by the mufassir regarding this verse:
Imam Ibn Jarir al-Thabari Rahimahullah said: “They prohibit their wives upon themselves with what Allah has prohibit for them, which is their mother’s back. Then they say to their wives: “You are like a part of my mother’s back to me,”. This is a form of talak for a man in the time of jahiliyyah. From Abu Qibalah, he said: Zihar is talak during the jahiliyyah times.” See: Ibn Jarir al-Thabari, Al-Jaami’ al-Bayan (23/228).
Imam al-Qurthubi Rahimahullah said when commenting on this verse: “Zihar is equating the back. It is equating the permissible back to the prohibited back. Thus, the scholars have agreed that to whoever that says: ‘For me you are like the back of my mother is someone who has committed zihar. While majority of scholars hold the opinion that zihar also happens if a husband says to his wife: ‘For me you are like the back of my sister or the back of my siblings (woman) and others that are his mahram.” Refer: Al-Jaami’ Li Ahkam alQuran, Al-Qurthubi (17/246).
The Pronouncement of Zihar
We think the most important way to ease the worry and confusion regarding the issue of zihar is by studying an analysing the phrases and words that are considered as zihar. Basically, zihar has two parts; which are sarih (clear) speech or words and kinayah (figurative) speech or words.
Sarih speech such as: “For me you are a part of the back of my mother.”. The same goes for phrases, such as: “For me your stomach is like my mother’s stomach,” or my mother’s head, or vagina or anything of the like. It is the same for phrases such as, “Your vagina, or head, or stomach, or legs for me is like the back of my mother.”, then the person that utters these words have committed zihar.
For kinayah speech, the words of a husband to his wife: “You are like a mother to me or you are a mother for me.”. Then in these cases, the intention of the speaker should be considered. If he meant it as zihar, then it is zihar. If his intention is not zihar, then he is not considered as a person that has committed zihar in the opinion of Imam al-Syafie and Iman Abu Hanifah.
The above opinion is included in the 23 problems related to zihar, that has been explained by Imam al-Qurthubi Rahimahullah in his tafsir. Refer: al-Jaami’ Li Ahkam al-Quran, al-Qurthubi (17/246).
The Kaffarah for Zihar
As we have stated before, Allah SWT has given a facilitation in the issue of zihar and changed it to kaffarah from the original talak during the times of jahiliyyah. Kaffarah for someone that committed zihar is as the following:
First: Freeing a slave
Second: If he does not have a slave, he has to fast for two whole months consecutively
Third: If he is not capable, he has to feed 60 poor people
This is in accordance with a statement of Allah SWT:
وَالَّذِينَ يُظَاهِرُونَ مِنْ نِسَائِهِمْ ثُمَّ يَعُودُونَ لِمَا قَالُوا فَتَحْرِيرُ رَقَبَةٍ مِنْ قَبْلِ أَنْ يَتَمَاسَّا ۚ ذَٰلِكُمْ تُوعَظُونَ بِهِ ۚ وَاللَّهُ بِمَا تَعْمَلُونَ خَبِيرٌ
“And those who pronounce thihar from their wives and then [wish to] go back on what they said - then [there must be] the freeing of a slave before they touch one another. That is what you are admonished thereby; and Allah is Acquainted with what you do. And he who does not find [a slave] - then a fast for two months consecutively before they touch one another; and he who is unable - then the feeding of sixty poor persons. That is for you to believe [completely] in Allah and His Messenger; and those are the limits [set by] Allah. And for the disbelievers is a painful punishment.”
Surah al-Mujadilah (3-4)
Conclusion
After we have stated the Quranic evidences and arguments of the scholars, we hold the opinion that a husband should always be mindful and careful of the words that he utters that could harm or impair the relationship of husband and wife in a marriage. Especially for words that could lead to doubts and worry towards the marital status, such as talak and zihar.
If the phrases that we stated is uttered and it is true that the husband meant it as zihar, then it is prohibited. In this case, we advise the couple to consult with the Syariah court or religious body of authority about the husband’s statement. However, it is obligatory for the husband to pay the kaffarah for zihar, as have been stated above.
But, words or phrases, such as ‘you are beautiful like my mother,’, or ‘you are a good cook like my mother,’ or ‘you are the same height as my sister,’ and others of the like is not considered as zihar. This is due to the fact that someone who speaks like this has no intention of prohibiting his wife for him.
Lastly, may this explanation ease the worry and confusion in society regarding this issue. May Allah SWT give us a clear understanding in His religion. Ameen.